I turned my head, so that my lips rested on the patch of skin just below his collar bone, and snuggled further into his body. He fractionally increased the pressure of his arms around my body, and i murmured softly into his chest. “Can i ask you a question?”
“Shoot,” he said into my hair.
“Now that we’ve fucked, will you lose interest in me? I mean, you know, no more “thrill of the chase” and all that?”
I heard his deep rumbling laugh, as he pulled away from me to look into my eyes.
“What bullshit are you talking, Juno? God, sometimes you do say such silly things. We should experiment with some BDSM so i can tie you up and flog you each time you say something stupid like that.”
“Only if i can return the favor,” I replied seriously, looking him square in the eye.
Shivers of delicious anticipation ran up and down my spine.
It was at this point that we both realized that this was definitely an avenue that required further exploration. So far, mild spanking had worked its way into our copulative efforts with great fervor and enjoyment by all, but that was as far as BDSM had intruded upon either of our lives so far.
********************************
Some weeks later, i was having a low moment and writing him an email about how things had been at the very beginning with my ex-husband, before i donned the good girl shackles that i am constantly attempting to throw off. I mentioned how it hadn’t always been completely awful, and how we’d been (what seemed to me, the innocent, way back then) somewhat experimental. We’d used ropes as sex toys and aids, securing them under my mattress for traction, since i had nothing on the bed-frame that could be rendered tie-able-to.
The email hit his cyber-mat and a reply was returned with astonishing speed and fervor.
It was comprised of a list of things i should do to fortify myself and cheer myself up, and continued thus:
“Get the ropes from under your mattress, and bring them with you when we next meet.”
He was the one to mention it first, when we next met.
I’d not brought the ropes, since the times when my ex-husband and I had so indulged had been more than a decade past, and therefore I no longer owned any. I’d searched around for replacements, before confiding in a friend who told me not to bother — anything that wasn’t cotton or silk rope was not worth the time or energy.
Once again, i lay with his strong body curled around mine, as we exhaled and recovered from an earth-moving joint climax. He bit my ear lobe gently, and murmured into my neck.
“You know that i sail on weekends sometimes?”
“Yes… mmm, i love this collar bone…”
“Juno, listen.”
“I’m listening… mmm….”
“What if you came with me one time, if you could arrange it?”
“Seriously? I’d love to.”
“And you know, don’t you, that on the boat we tie knots very… very… tight….”
I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up with excitement. I could hear his hidden sub-text loud and clear. I knew exactly what he meant, and what he was implying.
“Only if you promise not to fly me up the flagpole naked.”
He chuckled to himself. “You never know. I might. We’ll see.”
I began to tease his erect nipple gently with my teeth, as my hand palpated his ball sac, and stroked the base of his very excited (again) cock. And that was the point in the evening where we stopped speaking for a while, having far more important things to do. To each other.
********************************
I just love the thought of new sexual adventures. I’m pretty much open to anything. Since passing the age of 35, whole new worlds of experience have opened themselves up to me, and i am fortunate enough to have dismissed my earlier good-girl mentality enough to embrace each new challenge.
The only problem, as a dear friend bluntly told me, is that I am too used to the idea of being in total control of myself.
“Let yourself go, live a little.” she chided me gently. “Losing control is fine, if you are with someone in whom you have complete faith, and whom you trust fully. Besides, it isn’t necessarily a lifestyle choice. It’s experimentation. And the feel of silk rope against bare flesh is amazing. Plus, I find that when i come while I’m restrained it’s just other-worldly hot-t-t-t.”
She is, of course, entirely correct. On all counts.
Just to be clear, here, I do not knock or deride those who make this their lifestyle, not in any way at all. Would it be a way of life that i could conceivably live with? I don’t know. From where i sit right now, I’d say no, but i am not foolish enough to rule out anything anymore. And I mean anything.
To quote the late, great Bette Davis, “Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride”. A fun one, though, I’d lay money on that.
January 23, 2007 at 3:54 pm
I love this one, Juno. So much of yourself in this.
Your friend is so right about how it feels to be restrained. For women like us, so used to being in control of everything in our lives… the feeling of handing over that control (to someone completely trusted and trustworthy) is so freeing; it allows you to enjoy what is given to you without obligation, without responsibility, without trying to please. A complete luxury. You deserve it.
January 23, 2007 at 10:31 pm
Congrats on being back in the “top three” of Sugasm. I voted for you, Lola David’s football van story and someone else I’ve already forgotten about.
January 24, 2007 at 8:27 pm
I have often said to S that the time I spend tied and under her control is time when I feel the most free.
January 25, 2007 at 9:25 am
I had a girlfriend once who chose me as the safe person to explore this with. Obviosuly she had fantasized about it a lot but never done it. It brought out a side of me that was very surprising. I think I’ll have to write about it. My problem was that I didn’t know how to tie a good knot and she needed the ropes very tight. I even bought a book on knots! For many, tightness isn’t required and it’s really the concept of restraint that is turn-on enough. Since that relationship ended, I’ve played with me being the one restrained and I like that too. I think as a lifestyle it’s meant for only a few. With the girlfriend it became the only way she wanetd to have sex with me and that wasn’t satisfying as part of a monagamous relationship.
January 26, 2007 at 12:50 am
Came back and read it again. Yes, there comes a point where NOTHING is off the table, and it makes your head spin. I can think of so many things I’d like to do with C. But what REALLY makes me hot is hearing what she wants to do, with or without me. OMG! Forgive me while an old perv goes to lie down before I have to call for CPR.
January 26, 2007 at 4:40 am
That release and trust binds me to my partner even in the light of day, outside the safe walls of our bedroom. J and I played that way from the very beginning of our relationship and it opened doors to all forms of intimacy between us once we perfected that trust.
Beautifully written, Juno…
Al, J and I belong to a society in San Francisco (Janus) that actually teaches classes…well, let’s just saying it’s knot-tying for grown up Eagle Scouts…J has loved the classes–and, yes, so have I 😉
January 26, 2007 at 7:04 am
I think I’d like to fasten my seatbelt, and have a bumpy ride with you.
January 30, 2007 at 8:37 pm
Mmmmmm. After being away for a bit, just letting you know that I’m still reading and still loving what I read. I relate to this one on so many levels.
February 1, 2007 at 11:01 am
[…] a Dream (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com) Countdown pt. 2 (http://themilfblog.blogspot.com) Exploring, Experimenting and Losing Control (https://junohenry.wordpress.com) Forbidden Fruit is in Season (http://sexandtheivy.com) His Turn […]
February 1, 2007 at 5:04 pm
[…] a Dream (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com) Countdown pt. 2 (http://themilfblog.blogspot.com) Exploring, Experimenting and Losing Control (https://junohenry.wordpress.com) Forbidden Fruit is in Season (http://sexandtheivy.com) His Turn […]
February 25, 2007 at 11:49 am
[…] a Dream (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com) Countdown pt. 2 (http://themilfblog.blogspot.com) Exploring, Experimenting and Losing Control (https://junohenry.wordpress.com) Forbidden Fruit is in Season (http://sexandtheivy.com) His Turn […]
March 18, 2007 at 6:32 am
Officially hot – hope your experimentation goes (went) well … I shall have to catch up on my reading, obviously 🙂
xx Dee
April 26, 2007 at 2:25 pm
[…] a Dream (dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com…) Countdown pt. 2 (themilfblog.blogspot.com…) Exploring, Experimenting and Losing Control (junohenry.wordpress.com…) Forbidden Fruit is in Season (sexandtheivy.com…) His Turn […]
July 27, 2010 at 11:16 pm
[…] have heard me speak of my wish to begin experimenting in restraint and BDSM. Control is always the issue for me. I often feel as though my real life — and yes, i do have […]