Dear Shit-for-Brains,

I’m not interested. Please stop contacting me.

Read that sentence again.

Now read it again.

Got it? Good.

This is the last email of yours I will bother reading — the rest will be deleted immediately. Since this is our last communique, please read and internalize the following:

1. My name is not a come-on, it’s the name of a character in “Blazing Saddles”.

2. You only get one chance to make a first impression. If you blow that, you’re pretty much screwed — but not in the good way. Asking me my rate? Are ya shitting me?

3. Repeated attempts to contact a person after they have politely but firmly requested that you cease and desist from said activity, only serves to make you at best a pest, and at worst, committing harassment  None of these attempts are seen as endearing, appealing or in any way likely to get your further then the email stage of things.

4. Behaving in this manner, and then calling yourself “quality” is highly ironic.

5. Finally, saying “it takes two to tango” about repeated attempts to get you to stop emailing me? Seriously? You look old enough to know much better.

Thanks for understanding… finally.