Bono’s voice is arguably iconic, from within the perspective of music appreciation. However, since he was the backdrop for one of the most exciting and fun experiences of my sexually unconventional life, he’ll always symbolize one thing, and one thing alone for me.
The delight of lying in between two men, their hands caressing my body, and mine caressing theirs in return, was incomparable. The haunting and melodic strains of “Bullet the Blue Sky” only accentuated the sensation.
As I believe I have documented here, a threesome is my ultimate fantasy. I hadn’t done one without Henry, and i was concerned about what his reaction would be. Not that I was going to let that stop me.
However, it was not I who arranged the tryst. I received a cryptic text message from a friend, early in the morning, implying that a threesome might be on the cards, and was I up for it. Since said friend (Greg) and I had plans to meet and talk geek that evening, and he’s always baiting me with lewd and perverted suggestions of one variety or another, i thought little of it. He wasn’t into the whole threesome thing. He once described himself to me as a homophobe.
“Nonsense,” I told him. “You’re far too intelligent to be a homophobe. You’re just conditioned. Anyway, an MFM threesome doesn’t have to involve any MM action, if you’d rather not. I mean, MM action is hot stuff to watch, not to mention my porn of choice, but it’s not a deal breaker.”
But still he demurred.
As you can imagine, I didn’t take the whole thing terribly seriously. If it was a hoax — it was a hoax. If the evening ended up involving wild and debauched sex — well, honestly, have you ever heard me complain?
So it was all good, whichever way it swung.
Fast forward to that evening, to find me standing on his doorstep, laptop under my arm, and cute low-cut sweater showing just enough cleavage. (Dude appreciates the cleavage, so i like to throw him a bone once in a while.)
Answering the door, however, was not Greg, but Joshua. Joshua, whom I’d never met before. Joshua the cute one with the shyly sexy smile, and the solid, attractive body.
Joshua the potential number three of said threesome. Yeah baby.
As we sat over coffee, five minutes later, Joshua also revealed the charmingly intelligent, open and sexy side to his personality. Greg’s absence had been established (“How dare he set me up like this? Sneaky git, i’ll have him,” I thought to myself, meaning it quite literally) and we were deep in the throes of a highly interesting share-fest.
Ain’t nothing better than talking to a man who can hold a conversation and studiously avoid gawping at your cleavage. I could see he was making the effort not to ogle, which I appreciated. We covered so many topics and so many levels — it was the nicest blind date I’d had in a long, long while. But at the back of my mind I was wondering just what the fuck Greg had in his head, and what his ultimate plan was.
Greg always has an ultimate plan. He’s one of those people.
So there we are, and it’s perfectly pleasant. Idly I wondered how such pleasantries could or would translate themselves into hot, nasty ugly-bumping, but I was having such a good time talking that I wasn’t bothered. I’m almost as sexually active as I can be loquacious, especially when intrinsically motivated by the topic on the table. And intelligent conversation — oh, how I crave it. It’s the most effective aphrodisiac I can think of. He had it. He had it. And he had it in spades.
Eventually, the door opens and Greg looks around the kitchen doorway with a roguish twinkle in his eye, and an “I know what you two are up to” look on his face.
“Am I interrupting anything?” he asked, as he weaved into the room. “Do excuse me, I’m a little bit drunk.” He walked, somewhat akimbo, around the flat, trying desperately to be unobtrusive in his slightly obsessive compulsive tidying, and moving fixtures and knick-knacks slightly to the left.
“Music,” he said. “Ambiance. Yes. ‘Scuse I.” And disappeared again.
“Dear god, ” i laughed to Joshua, “He’s probably had three sips of wine again.”
Greg emerged from the bedroom, where the strains of U2’s “The Joshua Tree” had begun to play. I love that album. Haven’t heard it in years.
“I heard that. And I had a whole enormous wine glass that the guy kept refilling,” he retorted. “And anyway, if we’re talking inability to hold alcohol, why don’t you try some of this.” (The “Ms Smartass” at the end of that sentence wasn’t verbalized, but it was strongly implied.)
He brandished a bottle of clear liquid at me, produced a shot glass with a flourish and poured. I sipped, coughed, flushed and tried unsuccessfully to speak.
“What is it?” I gasped.
Joshua looked on, highly amused at our banter.
“It’s home-made grappa.”
“Grappa?” I spluttered, “You mean paint-stripper, surely.”
“Whatever,” he said, as he walked away, still weaving ever so slightly. “I’m off out to the cash machine. Won’t be long. Be good, you two. Or… not.”
Aמd off he went. Joshua and I looked at each other and giggled.
“Subtle, isn’t he?” he said.
I nodded, but my mind was racing ahead. “So you know what he’s done now, don’t you?” I asked Joshua. He nodded, and his eyes twinkled sexily at me. “But do you… I mean, will he… um… when he… you know… um…”
“What will happen when he gets back?” Joshua grinned at me.
“Well… um… yeah.” I articulated sheepishly.
“He’ll come and join us, of course.”
And there it was. The implication as loud and clear as if it had been inscribed in six-foot high neon letters. We’re going to fuck, and then later the “we” in the fuck will go from being a two to a three.
Fabulous. My ultimate fantasy was about to be realized. I listened for the fanfare and drum roll that i thought might sound in the far off distance, but i couldn’t hear anything but U2. Which was good enough for me. I mean, if a drum-roll is to be sounded to herald such an event, I’d be honored to have Larry Mullen Jr play it.
Joshua watched me squirm uncomfortably on the hard kitchen seat, and reached over to touch my arm.
“Would you be more comfortable on the sofa?” he asked, his eyes twinkling. My eyes met his, and I felt that familiar shiver of excitement run down my spine.
And so it began.
To be continued. And I mean it, i promise you, there is a whole lot more of this story on its way, and none of it is SFW. So stay tuned.
Updated: Continued here.